circumstances.

now i'm not blaming it on circumstances, the way things turned out to be.  i'm just saying, we only got here because of the way things fell together and maybe even fell apart.

here.

every time i think about the past and the way things used to be i start to cry, and then a find a smile creeping onto my face.  looking back at all that used to be and the way things were - it makes me miss it, but i know i've grown and moved on into a beautiful new creation.  i'm happy with who i am now and i'd never have gotten here if it weren't for every detour along the way, every person who touched my life, every mistake i made, every heart break that i had to face, and every thing that went wrong on top of all that went right.  it's been a long journey from the past to the place i'm in now and i wouldn't change a thing, cause i'd never be who i am today without all the mistakes i made before i got here.

asdf

and i'm left not knowing how to feel anymore
all this pain bottled up is becoming unreal
it's as if i'm living in a dream
as though, i'm walking through a movie scene
becoming everything, i looked on the outside and said i'd never be
and now the girl i was, isn't me
now i've lost her, and i'm not sure i want her back
to be found or lost

thank goodness i'm not american

i've spent so much money on doctor's bills thanks to the health care system in australia.  i'm not stoked that tomorrow i have to go back and pay for yet another visit and for more prescription drugs... thanks stupid staph infection.  thanks for coming back.  not.

xx

disappointment comes when we fail to accept that sometimes life doesn't fall together just as we've planned.

beautiful mess

sometimes life doesn't work out exactly how we planned it.  things fall together in different orders and unexpected surprises alter the path we have chosen for ourselves.  those unexpected surprises and our responses to some of life's biggest disappointments are what make life beautiful.

post secret mornings are my favorite

this one made me smile

and this one made me cry

i get a little bit stronger

i'm done hoping that we could work it out.  i'm done with how it feels, spinning my wheels, letting you drag my heart around.  oh and i'm done thinking that we could ever change; i know my heart will never be the same, but i'm telling myself i'll be okay.  even on my weakest days, i get a little bit stronger.

doesn't happen over night, but you turn around and a month's gone by and you realize you haven't cried. i'm not giving you an hour or a second or another minute longer.  i'm busy getting stronger.

I Love Steel Magnolia

"I'll take off my halo if you take off your wings. You don't have to be invincible cause I sure aint no saint. You'll always be my angel no matter what you do, because you take me to heaven just by being you."

xx

your worst critic is nobody but your own self.  it's in yourself and in your head.  you have the right to decide who you want to be.  you choose how you'll you respond to situations.  you can choose to exhibit love or fester hate.  there is nobody beating you down more than your own self and with that comes the idea that nobody can build you up more than your own self as well.  we are who we want to be.

elizabeth

in a world of disorder and disaster and fraud, sometimes only beauty can be trusted.  only artistic excellence is incorruptible.  pleasure cannot be bargained down and sometimes the meal is the only currency that is real.

eat.pray.love

When you sense a faint potentiality for happiness after such dark times you must grab onto the ankles of that happiness and not let go until it drags you face-first out of the dirt - this is not selfishness, but obligation.  You were given life; it is your duty (and also your entitlement as a human being) to find something beautiful within life, no matter how slight.

i miss when my mind wrote like this

We will never repeat the same mistakes we've made knowing their outcomes - that's simply hypocrisy. We will move on, take what went wrong and turn it around for good. We are strong, stable, beautiful people. We refuse to be ruined by the troubles thrown our way. We are wise beyond our years, educated for wholeness and knit together with a complexity deeper than its seams. We are stronger and bigger than our troubles. We are not flesh alone; we're souls enveloped in an unchosen skin. We do not choose our destinies - we have not hand picked our fate. We are here, simply facing each new day; growing and moving on from yesterday - pushing on towards the promise of tomorrow. We are waiting, breathing, dreaming and believing. We are alive.

i'm so over facebook

for this very reason: when i post things, say what's on my mind, upload pictures etc, i'm expressing myself. it's an art, it's me.  i don't walk around town with a piece of paper taped to my back so that people can comment on my every action.  i'm so annoyed with everyone commenting on every little thing about me.  the only reason i haven't deleted it yet is because i want to be able to talk to my friends and family on one site.  i'm tired of people stalking every detail of my life.

well said

"The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company... a church... a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you... we are in charge of our Attitudes.”